aries: get to tHE FUKCIN POINT OBH MY GOD WHY DOES EVERYONE TAKE 10000 YEARS TO SAY SOMETHING THAT SHOULD ONLY TAKE 10 SECONDS
taurus: should I have leftovers tonight or order takeout? Thai and vietnamese are healthy but, pizza sounds pretty good too– maybe a bottle of wine…are you still talking to me? I’ll just pretend I need to go to the bathroom.
gemini: *talks continuously without giving the other person time to reply, basically says whatever pops into their head, doesn’t care if the other person is interested*
cancer: I give and I give, listen and listen, I am so nice and caring, when are they going to ask about me? I am literally the most kind, gentle, pure, underappreciated person in the universe *wipes tear*
leo: *checks out self on any and every reflective surface* nice. Wait, did you just ask me a question? Finally, I get to talk about (myself) something interesting.
virgo: *sweats nervously and/or judges the other person ruthlessly* It’s either ‘wow, what an idiot,’ or ‘I hope I didn’t sound like an idiot’
libra: pretends to listen politely while resisting the urge to stick a pencil in their own eye to escape from the sheer bordom/stupidity, out loud: “wow, that’s so interesting” *eye twitch*
scorpio: fukc, this is boring why is everyone so boring what’s the point of small talk yes suzan it’s hot outside it is the middle of the fucking summer tfti now would you do the world a favor and go play in traffic
sagittarius: *laughs* “that’s hilarious” inside: I hope a horde of wildabeast tramples this fucking fool so that no one has to listen to them talk ever agin fuck *laughs some more*
capricorn: how does this apply to me? Wait, it doesn’t. What a waste of time.
aquarius: disagrees even though they don’t actually disagree and then argues just to prove how smart (they think) they are
pisces: literally having the most awesome narcissistic daydream ever, doesn’t even pretend to pay attention
[technically a shitpost but check mercury/third house]
